STOP! It is important for you to read Matthew 18:1-35
before reading the rest of this article.
It is important for you to know for yourself what the Word of God has to
say and not just take my word for it!
“Then Peter came up to Him and said,
Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me…?” (Matthew
18:21a AMP)
Basically
the end of this verse asks if I have to forgive at least seven times before I
do not have to forgive again, but I think just a little part of Peter wanted to
know if he really had to put up with someone hurting and offending him even
more than once. Peter, like many of us,
did not understand TRUE forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not “putting up with” someone. Forgiveness is not being a doormat. Forgiveness is not letting someone get away
with doing wrong. Forgiveness IS the
settling of an account.
When
I was at mission school we spent a whole week on the subject of
forgiveness. I really thought I did not
have any problems with forgiveness. I
had been a Christian for over 14 years at the time and really thought that I
had forgiven everyone who ever wronged me.
Yet during that week images of people from my past kept coming to mind. I did not realize why I kept thinking about
these people until a guest-speaker at our school said, “You know you really
have not forgiven someone when you see them walk into the room and you feel
uncomfortable about it; they bring back old memories of frustration, anger
and/or animosity.” I realized that if
any of those people I had been remembering were to walk in the room that moment
then I would feel very uncomfortable and want to leave the room myself. This surprised me! I thought I had forgiven these people, when
in fact I had ignored and suppressed the offenses they caused. The Holy Spirit convicted me of my un-forgiveness. It was an ugly thing!
Alfred
Tennyson wrote, “Forgive! How many will say, forgive, and find a sort of
absolution in the sound to hate a little longer?” We cannot say, “I forgive you” but push the
hurt and frustration down deep out of sight.
This is not forgiveness; it is a façade.
Sooner or later all that hurt turns to bitterness and resentment and
then comes bursting out when the right button is pushed.
One
thing that we also learned that week at mission school was that we are
incapable of forgiving, TRULY forgiving, by ourselves and our own efforts. Remember that I mentioned what true
forgiveness is? It is the settling of an
account. Our best example of this is in
Jesus. When we review the Old Testament we realize
that Israel
hurt God again and again by turning away from Him to do what pleased them. This pattern of sin and rebellion started
with Adam and Eve and still runs through mankind’s motivations and actions
today. We continue to hurt God. Does God hold the hurt and resentment way
down deep inside? Does He try to ignore
our actions? Does He just “put up” with
us? No, He forgives and He sent His Son
Jesus to be our example and teach us how to forgive. Remember His words from the cross? “Father,
forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34 KJV). When Jesus died, He settled the account God
had against us. When we accept what
Jesus did for us, ask His forgiveness for our sins, and give our lives to Him
in return then we experience the Presence and Love of our Heavenly Father gives
with His forgiveness. Then, in turn,
when we extend that very same forgiveness to those who hurt us we are following
Jesus’ example.
“To that you were called, because
Christ suffered on your behalf, and thereby left you an example; it is for you
to follow in his steps” 1 Peter
2:21-23 NEB
Stay
tuned again for next week I will conclude sharing about forgiveness with how I
learned to forgive, but until then I leave you with this: “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet
sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” - Mark Twain
